Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

I am a confrontational and strongly opinionated person. Many times, this combination of traits often land me in many interpersonal conflicts. Just few days ago, another conflict involving me and a colleague (who is also the project manager) arose.

At the meeting table, the project manager presented the quotations for a concert we are working on and most of us at the meeting thought that the figures he shared are absurdly high. Sensing something amiss, I requested for the breakdown of the concert cost and realized he was using vendors who were giving him ridiculous quotes. When questioned about his refusal to engage other more affordable vendors that is of comparable standards, he gave a limp excuse: He is more comfortable working with this current group of vendors.

When I offered to provide him with my vendors who gave lower quotes, he promptly refused without any reasons and abruptly changed the subject of discussion.

In my point of view, both parties have to be reasonable if they wish to resolve any interpersonal conflict. Ignoring a conflict like how this project manager did will not help in solving the problem. It however led me to believe that this project manager has another secret agenda for his actions. In my opinion, this project manager just wanted to use his own contacts to further his own career in this industry and I completely disagree with his work ethics.

What further aggravated me was the fact that this project manager went back on his words. I had engaged him for a private discussion months ago about a possible deficit and he had promised to take up full responsibilities if this happens. However, during the meeting, he blatantly wanted to change the ticket pricing from the previously agreed SGD$15.00 to SGD$20.00 to buffer the additional cost incurred. He dismissed this change as negligible and that the program lineup is justifiable for this hike. To me, this was a mercenary move. To build his own empire, he passed the stint of the absurd quotation to the organizing committee and the preposterous cost to the consumers.

I came to a conclusion that night that not all interpersonal conflicts can be resolved. If the other party is not receptive to the opinions of others and wants things his own way, there is little we can do.

As such, till this project ends, I will continue to follow my project manager's directives. (He is afterall my boss in this project) Personally, I will continue to do what I believe in - Dealing with everyone I meet fairly.

This project manager is still a good friend of mine. However after this incident, it made me realized we'd be better off staying as good friends.

After reading this entry, if you were in my shoe, what would you have done? :P

Also, please don't be intimidated by me. I'm still a harmless, friendly guy! Do add me in Facebook using the link at the right hand side of this blog and anyone wants to do the ES2007S project with me? :D

Effective Communication Skills

Famous Taiwanese host, affectionately known as Small S and America President Barrack Obama both have a common charactertistic - They communicate effectively and people stop to listen when they speak.

However, effective communication is not just meant for the famous or rich. Everyone needs to be able to convey their messages effectively - May it be in a social setting when you want to charm the girl of your dream or to defend yourself in an argument.

For me, there is a pressing need to correspond effectively with the people around me. This is because working in the events planning industry requires me to converse in different manners to different groups of people.

To my superiors, I have to be professional when presenting the progress of my projects. To the contractors, an array of negotiating skills is needed to bring in terms the best quotes and to deliver my client's specifications accurately to them. To my clients, I have to understand their requests and be as accommodating as possible - Sometimes even to their
unreasonable requests.

Recently, I was involved with this project and this particular client from the government service sector wanted to change the entire site layout a day before the actual event despite having signed the contract to confirm the events layout. In such circumstances when I know my contractors will not be able to complete their work in time, I would have to negotiate with my client, while still appearing to be on his side. This is why, I particularly like the tips presented in "Good News and Bad News messages" of this module, as they are practical at minimizing the damage done to this working relationship.

On a side note, while being able to converse with the various groups of people, I don't enjoy talking much. I would choose watching a movie myself than meeting new friends. However, I realized even though talking to people is not my cup of tea, this does not imply I cannot be a good communicator.

On the contrary, because of the benefits of effective communication mentioned above, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone to interact with people. Given time, I know my communication skills will improve. Also, I've realized if I make a conscious effort to identify and change the not-so-good aspects in my verbal and non-verbal communication behaviors, I will soon be able to communicate professionally like Small S or even President Obama.

Till then, I will do my best to apply what I have learnt in this course to myself and I am particularly looking out for the "Building Inter-personal communication skills" and "Mock Job Interview" lessons.

So far, everything in this course has been engaging and fun and I look forward for more of it. =)

My ES2007S Blog is Up!

Hi all,

Welcome to my blog!

I am Jim from NUS ES2007S Tutorial 4. This is my blog and I will be uploading my first entry soon.

Till then, stay tune =)

Cheers,
Jim