Saturday, February 20, 2010

Evaluating Intercultural Behavior



This incident took place 4 years ago when my manager and I went down to a Middle East Shipping company for a meeting. Despite being scheduled to meet at 10am, the person in charge arrived 30 minutes late. However being a Singaporean has it's perks. I am quite used to people turning up late for appointments. So, I was cool with the wait. My manager, who is a Swiss was however rather irritated.

Like many other Singaporeans, I offered a warm handshake when my clients entered the room. However to my surprise, both of them (both men), gave me a cheek kiss after that firm, business handshake. I almost squicked! Why did they kissed me? Why didn't they kiss my manager? I always thought Middle East people are supposed to be conservative and only French does cheek kissing.

As such, the introduction was very awkward for me initially. However, they were very cordial and I decided to brush off this incident as a difference in culture. (My manager later told me cheek kissing among Middle East men is common and is a way Arabians show hospitality - I wonder this is true till date?)

Throughout the meeting, the room door was open and the secretary was walking in and out, interrupting our session occasionally. This must be contrasted with how meetings are conducted by Singaporeans. Normally, we would shut ourselves in a room and focus on the meeting agenda till the session is over. Hence, I am quite distracted by the frequent walking in of the secretary. However, I think it is a norm for Arabs to multi-task because these businessmen seemed very good at it. They were able to focus back to the meeting as soon as they had resolved the short interruption.

Finally, towards the end of the meeting, these businessmen invited us out for a coffee session after working hours. Feeling uneasy with their warm reception, I declined their invitation. However, they were insistent and because my manager was around, I agreed to their request.

I have since maintained good friendships with them. From this friendship, I understood that the differences in culture could result in potential conflicts. When communicating with a person from another cultural group, our non-verbal cues such as facial expression and tone plays an integral part. In particular, we should not express outright disgust or disagreement in the event we do not agree with what people are doing.

A thumb rule we should follow when engaging folks from other cultural background: A smile a day when we speak keeps everyone happy for the rest of the day =)