This is the advertisement of my dream job:
This is my application letter..
In addition, I had previously worked for an events company, A Team Promotions Pte Ltd. During the course of my job, I had to meet tight schedules, liase closely with the various vendors, made pitches and presentations to my clients and have successfully organized several big events such as the Singapore Changi Prison Official Opening and Jurong Point Shopping Mall Christmas Shows.
I would very much like an opportunity to discuss your specific requirements and my overall qualifications regarding the announced position. I will be contacting you at your office next Monday. Also, you can reach me at +65 9999 888. Thank you for considering me for this position.
Yours sincerely,
Jimmy Koh
Mobile Number: +65 9999 888
Residential Number: +65 9955 555
This is my application letter..
Jimmy Koh
Block 33 #33-133
Block 33 #33-133
Orchard Tower
Singapore 633333
Mobile Number: +65 9999 888
Singapore 633333
Mobile Number: +65 9999 888
Residential Phone: +65 9955 555
Email Address: jimkoh@liberte.sg
5th February 2010
Ms. Tammy Tham
Human Resource Manager
CapitaLand Limited
168 Robinson Road
Singapore 068912
Dear Ms. Tammy
I am interested in applying for the Fund Analyst position recently advertised on your corporate website. The skills I have developed from my work experience, my academic background and passion in financial analysis support my candidacy for the announced position.
Having graduated from the National University of Singapore (NUS) with a first class honours with a specialization in finance and business statistics has equipped me with the necessary skills to perform the role of a fund analyst. In particular, my strong foundation in the financial mathematics modules have enabled me to design, model and make informed decisions about investment related decisions. In addition, I am also proficient in using financial modeling softwares such as SPSS, SAS and R to analyze the financial market.
Besides the academic, I was also active in the extra curriculum activities in school. In 2009, I served as the treasurer for the NUS Quantitative Finance Club. I was responsible for preparing the annual budget for the club and organizing investment related seminars. In the same year, I was also the Publicity and Marketing Director for NUS Cultural Activity Club (CAC) Voices. I was involved in leading a team of 10 to market an annual concert production and the liasing with sponsors for the event. After 6 months of organizing and hard work, our team's hardwork was paid off and we earned a profit of SGD$2,000.
Talking about my past working experience, I had previous spent one year doing internship as a fund analyst in China, Beijing. The company I worked for, International Enterprise Singapore Beijing Overseas Centre has provided an opportunity for me to identify new investment prospects, create financial models and to perform cash flow analysis.
Ms. Tammy Tham
Human Resource Manager
CapitaLand Limited
168 Robinson Road
Singapore 068912
Dear Ms. Tammy
I am interested in applying for the Fund Analyst position recently advertised on your corporate website. The skills I have developed from my work experience, my academic background and passion in financial analysis support my candidacy for the announced position.
Having graduated from the National University of Singapore (NUS) with a first class honours with a specialization in finance and business statistics has equipped me with the necessary skills to perform the role of a fund analyst. In particular, my strong foundation in the financial mathematics modules have enabled me to design, model and make informed decisions about investment related decisions. In addition, I am also proficient in using financial modeling softwares such as SPSS, SAS and R to analyze the financial market.
Besides the academic, I was also active in the extra curriculum activities in school. In 2009, I served as the treasurer for the NUS Quantitative Finance Club. I was responsible for preparing the annual budget for the club and organizing investment related seminars. In the same year, I was also the Publicity and Marketing Director for NUS Cultural Activity Club (CAC) Voices. I was involved in leading a team of 10 to market an annual concert production and the liasing with sponsors for the event. After 6 months of organizing and hard work, our team's hardwork was paid off and we earned a profit of SGD$2,000.
Talking about my past working experience, I had previous spent one year doing internship as a fund analyst in China, Beijing. The company I worked for, International Enterprise Singapore Beijing Overseas Centre has provided an opportunity for me to identify new investment prospects, create financial models and to perform cash flow analysis.
In addition, I had previously worked for an events company, A Team Promotions Pte Ltd. During the course of my job, I had to meet tight schedules, liase closely with the various vendors, made pitches and presentations to my clients and have successfully organized several big events such as the Singapore Changi Prison Official Opening and Jurong Point Shopping Mall Christmas Shows.
I would very much like an opportunity to discuss your specific requirements and my overall qualifications regarding the announced position. I will be contacting you at your office next Monday. Also, you can reach me at +65 9999 888. Thank you for considering me for this position.
Yours sincerely,
Jimmy Koh
Mobile Number: +65 9999 888
Residential Number: +65 9955 555
Dear Jimmy,
ReplyDeleteYour application letter is good. I can see that you have addressed to almost all of the stated requirements. Things like your participation in CCA and making a profit of $2000 makes the letter even more appealing.
However, this job requires a minimum of 1 to 2 years of work experience which is slightly to your disadvantage. Also, you can talk more about your interpersonal and communication skills, having met tight deadlines and even your ability to adapt to changes under your working experience.
You can also rephrase, '...opportunity to discuss your specific needs...'to '...opportunity to discuss other specific requirements...'.
Yup, but overall the letter is good!
Hi Jimmy,
ReplyDeleteOverall the application letter is coherent and relevant to the position you're applying for. You've highlighted your experience in finance and statistics, as well CCA positions where you used your skills in finace, and also that you have prior experience working with CapitaLand.
You could rephrase the first sentence of the 3rd paragraph to "Besides academics, I was also active in the extra curricular activities in school." Also, the job ad says that some experience in REIT environment will be an advantage. Not too sure what that is, but you can mention if you do have some experience in that area. But, overall the letter is quite impressive.
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I've made the necessary adjustments to your comment to my existing blog. You can identity them in red.
Some queries from your comments:
1. I will exceed my word limit if I add in the interpersonal and communication part. However, I have included them in my resume as my job requirement as an events coordinator. Will this suffice? Or, should I remove some points from my existing application letter? If so, could you please advise which section I should remove?
2. Meeting tight datelines. I thought that I do not need to explicitly mention these and could be inferred since I said I held 2 leadership position in CCAs in the same academic year. Otherwise, could you please advise me on some examples of showing I have the ability to meet tight datelines?
3. Ability to adapt to changes - I have written more clearly about the location of my internship - China. Hopefully this will show that I have the ability to adapt to changes?
Thank you for your suggestions :)
Hi Aishwarya,
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting!
I've made neccessary changes to my current blog post. Suggestions from you are in Orange.
REIT is an acronym for Real Estate Investment Trust. This trust helps companies involved in real estate investments to eliminate or reduce the company's income tax.
I think CapitaLand currently has 5 REITS for the various business units. I do not have prior knowledge to REITS, therefore I have nothing to write about it. :(
Hey Jimmy,
ReplyDeleteOverall your application letter is quite impressive to the reader. It is well-written, well laid-out, is easy to follow and is just the right length. You also seem to have all the necessary experience that they require.
Just some minor changes I would like to suggest are perhaps, you could elaborate on some of skills that you learnt through your work experience (like soft skills) that can be transferred over. You could use an incident to show that you can work under tight deadlines (a requirement of the job ad).
I was also wondering that perhaps you could try and get a recommendation letter from Dr. Francis De'souza. I think that would lend a lot of credibility to your application.
Other than that I think the letter is very well-done:D
Cheers,
Jigna
Hey Jigna!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting! I've made changes according to your comments and they are in GREEN.
Dr. Francis De'souza is a fictional name I've used for this blog post. I have already gotten the recommendation letter from the person IC. Thanks! :D
Dear Jim,
ReplyDeleteGood effort! You have certainly done a pretty good job aligning your qualities to the position's requirements, highlighting your strengths and downplaying areas of weakness. You were also able to share concrete details of some of your achievements - well done.
Am sharing a few areas in your letter which you may like to consider working on:
1. Letterhead screams attention to your name (I cut and pasted it to Microsoft Word and the font size of your name is way too attention-grabbing). While it is good to leave an impression, aesthetically it may not be very pleasing to the eye. That's just my opinion though. Check the alignment. How come 'Email' and the email address provided are on two different lines? Is that deliberate?
2. I probably would consider removing the very first sentence from the 1st para. What is the point you are trying to make by stating that you are a fresh graduate? Is that important? Knowing that one of the job's requirements is that applicants should possess minimum 1-2 yrs working experience, you may be running a risk of the recruiter eliminating yourself as a potential applicant after having read the very first line.
Not that your chances of being considered would be high to begin with, but by proclaiming that out loud, the chances of being short-listed seem slimmer than ever. What do you think? You may have highlighted past internship experience, but the recruiter may not get that far.
3. Typically the most important requirements candidates are required to fulfil are listed up front. You may like to focus a little more in this area. Your short para. 2 may not have portrayed yourself to be someone with a 'good degree' in Finance-related qualifications, and also someone who has 'good' analytical skills.
4. You have shared relevant experience, which is great. Be careful about using abbreviations - what is CAC? What is IE? You talked about your role as the Marketing Director, bringing in a profit of SGD2000 for the NUS CAC Voices. The figure will not mean much to me as a reader - would you be able to share this figure in a more meaningful manner such that your reader understands the effort put in to make such a profit?
5. I like your sharing of your internship experience in China. Besides highlighting your roles and responsibilities as a fund analyst, you may like to consider highlighting a specific incident where you were able to work under tight deadlines, producing excellent results. This can be a point you bring up during the interview session to highlight your capability.
6. You mentioned working in CapitaLand Corporate University. What is the point you are trying to make here? Since you mentioned that you have a recommendation letter from the person in-charge, I would suggest highlighting some of the points mentioned in the letter here. Instead of saying that the experience had "given (you a) clear understanding (of) the corporate governance of the company," which does not tell me anything about yourself, why don't you capitalise on some of the strengths mentioned of you (in the reco. letter) and discuss in more concrete terms what you did that warrant those comments? This can be another excellent point you may like to bring up during the interview session.
7. Be proactive. Get back to them, instead of waiting for them to get back to you =)
Ms. Lim
Hi Jimmy,
ReplyDelete1) You can remove the part on CapitaLand Corporate University and instead talk about being an events coordinator, highlighting your interpersonal and communication skills.
2) Saying that you held 2 leadership position in CCAs in the same academic year gives me the impression that you can multi-task well. Is there something you can mention that deals with a deadline? Like completing a major project within a short time?
3) I guess having an internship in China can be considered as adapting to changes.
That's all from me =)! Thanks!
Dear Ms Lim,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I've made the needful adjustments in PURPLE. I will be emailing you an update copy of my application letter tonight.
1. The letterhead in this blog post is not accurately aligned. I will send an updated copy in email tonight for your viewing. Please advise if that layout I will be sending tonight is alright :)
2. The point I was trying to bring up with the CapitaLand University paragraph is to show my addressee I have previously worked in this company before but in a different department. I was hoping to show that I understand how the company works and how I fitted well in that previous department (CapitaLand University), thereby increasing my chance of getting employed. Is this advisable?
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your replies. I've updated your suggestions in RED.